I'm not talking about some fiasco like "Heaven's Gate" that was universally -- and rightly -- condemned on its release, a film that for some imbecile reason you liked, and kept liking, until enough others began to like it as well, allowing you to lie to yourself about how right you were when everyone else was wrong. No, I'm not referring to that. I'm talking about those guilty pleasures that make you so guilty you dare not mention them approvingly in certain circles, since such a confession would mark you for life, scarring your reputation beyond any hope of recovery. I mean those movies that will never develop a cult following, that merit the scorn that's been heaped upon them. Don't pretend you haven't got a few of these in the closet. None of us has perfect taste. No matter how much you educate your taste buds, you still make room for chili fries and pork rinds. I realize that it's mighty tough standing up in front of everybody and saying, "My name is Rupert, and I'm an alco -- excuse me, I actually enjoyed _______________ (fill in the blank)."
I'm gifted when it comes to publicly degrading myself, so I'll start. Here are four -- there are others -- that I've seen and ENJOYED, even though I know they're every bit as bad as everyone says they are:
DEATH TO SMOOCHY
LAND OF THE PHARAOHS
I've seen the first two only once, and that was after they'd been denounced and burned in effigy all over this land. I suppose I mention that to suggest that, if I saw them a second time, my eyes would see the truth, and I could make myself clean again. Don't bet on it.
The second two are not really hated by everyone. In fact, they have their acolytes. But they'll never convince me. I've seen both films many times and will see them again. Those of us who enjoy them know the reasons why, reasons which I won't disclose, since they'd exhibit me as a coarse and lewd fellow.
Anyone else willing to confess?