Ferris Beuller's Day Off
Today I watched a very educational film. It's all about how to play hookey (although I didn't see any pucks or goalies). It stars Mr. Sarah Jessica Parker and it is a perfect time capsule of eighties pop culture and humor. It's called "Ferris Beuller's Day Off" and this was the best Matthew Broderick movie 'cause there's no Nathan Lane to gay it up. Although if there were a supercomputer trying to blow up the world, it would have been even better...
Beuller
Beuller
Beuller
Did you know he's been absent NINE TIMES? Yeah, that pedophile no-eyebrow Beetlejuice freak has kept count. And he sounds just like Dirty Harry (I bet that's his online kiddie-trolling name). He hates Ferris 'cause Ferris is popular with the sportos, motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, geeks. They all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude. You know why I like him? 'Cause he can't play the clarinet worth a damn and everyone knows that only dorks can play the clarinet, you know, like Woody Allen (who, I have found out, is not a woodpecker).
When Chicken was in shelter land...
...let my Chicken go...
What I'm wondering is, if this movie is set in Chicago, why did they put Cameron in a Detroit Red Wings jersey? That's like sending a Packer fan to Soldiers Field armed only with his rubber cheesehead.
Ferris's sister sucked soooo bad at dancing, she got sent back to school where she pouts and whines even though she's got a kick-ass Pontiac Fiero to drive. She should have asked for a nose job. I'm sure it would help her career.
Save Ferris!!!
If the Mom is such a successful rich real estate broker living in the wealthiest of the Windy City 'burbs, then why does she drive a K-Car station wagon?
So Ferris, Cameron, and Sloane, that's Ferris' way hot girlfriend (who is never heard from again in the cinematic world) go to the Blues Brothers Restaurant only Ferris' dad is there, too. I guess if Dad is so busy spending hundreds of dollars on lunch at the most expensive restaurant in Chicago, it's no wonder his wife has to drive a K-Car.
So Mr. Rooney is soooo desperate to have a piece of Ferris ass that he leaves school in the middle of the day (also in a K-Car...terrible product placement on the part of Chrysler) and goes to Ferris' house (hasn't this guy seen "To Catch a Predator"?).
They go to a Cubs game, too. I sure do love the Cubs. My aunt is a White Sox fan, but really, how fierce can a team be when they're named after the smelliest part of your gym clothes?
Ooooh, there's a parade! I really love parades, except when there's clowns 'cause I have never met anyone who truly likes clowns. Emmett Kelly was a famous clown and he frowned all the time. Why was he all frowny-face? 'Cause he was a clown. But this parade didn't have clowns, it had an Oompah Loompa band and Ferris got up and sang and it wasn't even Idol audition week. He sang "Donkeyshane" which was really sung by Bruce Wayne Newton, which, coincidentally, is my favorite cookie (sorry, fruit and cake).
Then they twist and shout and show this group of black people dancing in unison like an episode of "Solid Gold." How racist is this movie? Black people do NOT dance to the Beatles, and they're not the only race that can dance in unison (ever see Riverdance?). Then they pan back to the parade and not a black person in sight. Why they'd go to the German American Parade is beyond me, although there was a black guy on "Hogan's Heroes"...
That son of a bitch Rooney knocks a dog out with a pot of flowers! Not that I'm a big fan of dogs, 'cause I'm a fluffy little bunny cat, but now he's an animal abusing teen-seeking pedophile who breaks and enters. Go back to Deadwood where you belong, you creepy bastard!
Cameron has a total meltdown when he realizes that an extra from "Desperado" has taken his sweet ride out for a drive without his permission. It's called karma, Cameron, deal with it.
By the way, Cameron is gay. Totally. If you had Sloane stroking your forehead and flauntin' her hoohas in a wet negligee by the pool, you'd snap out of it a lot quicker than he did.
Ooooh, Ex-Mr. Dr. Christmas Jones cameo!
So Cameron decides to prove he's not a pansy and kicks his dad's car and it goes flyin' off into the woods. It's called catharsis, but I'd rather see the sequel when Cameron's Dad gets home. He should get slapped just for being stupid enough to think that putting the car in reverse would take the miles off. Cameron says his Dad doesn't trust him and that he loves the car more than him, but didn't Cameron prove his Dad right by taking the car out in the first place? He totally brought everyone down with his self-pitying diatribe about paternal devotion.
So Ferris is, like, screw you guys, I'm goin' home! And he runs through people's yards and he shows that he really doesn't love Sloane 'cause he stops and flirts with these two chicks who are soooo vapid that they lay out tanning facing away from the sun! And this is right after he tells her that he loves her. The cool guy totally loses cool points right at the end of the movie, what the hell is up with that?
But he continuously breaks the fourth wall, so that more than makes up for it.
How did all those bouquets of flowers for Ferris get in the house if no one was home all day?
The world goes by pretty fast, if you don't slow down, you might miss it. But I'm a cat, and the world goes by really really fast, like seven times faster, so I better get to Wrigley Field quick!
Want some gummy bears? They've been in my pocket all day so they're nice and soft.
I'm totally kidding, cats don't have pockets.
Chicka Chicka!
Beuller
Beuller
Beuller
Did you know he's been absent NINE TIMES? Yeah, that pedophile no-eyebrow Beetlejuice freak has kept count. And he sounds just like Dirty Harry (I bet that's his online kiddie-trolling name). He hates Ferris 'cause Ferris is popular with the sportos, motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, geeks. They all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude. You know why I like him? 'Cause he can't play the clarinet worth a damn and everyone knows that only dorks can play the clarinet, you know, like Woody Allen (who, I have found out, is not a woodpecker).
When Chicken was in shelter land...
...let my Chicken go...
What I'm wondering is, if this movie is set in Chicago, why did they put Cameron in a Detroit Red Wings jersey? That's like sending a Packer fan to Soldiers Field armed only with his rubber cheesehead.
Ferris's sister sucked soooo bad at dancing, she got sent back to school where she pouts and whines even though she's got a kick-ass Pontiac Fiero to drive. She should have asked for a nose job. I'm sure it would help her career.
Save Ferris!!!
If the Mom is such a successful rich real estate broker living in the wealthiest of the Windy City 'burbs, then why does she drive a K-Car station wagon?
So Ferris, Cameron, and Sloane, that's Ferris' way hot girlfriend (who is never heard from again in the cinematic world) go to the Blues Brothers Restaurant only Ferris' dad is there, too. I guess if Dad is so busy spending hundreds of dollars on lunch at the most expensive restaurant in Chicago, it's no wonder his wife has to drive a K-Car.
So Mr. Rooney is soooo desperate to have a piece of Ferris ass that he leaves school in the middle of the day (also in a K-Car...terrible product placement on the part of Chrysler) and goes to Ferris' house (hasn't this guy seen "To Catch a Predator"?).
They go to a Cubs game, too. I sure do love the Cubs. My aunt is a White Sox fan, but really, how fierce can a team be when they're named after the smelliest part of your gym clothes?
Ooooh, there's a parade! I really love parades, except when there's clowns 'cause I have never met anyone who truly likes clowns. Emmett Kelly was a famous clown and he frowned all the time. Why was he all frowny-face? 'Cause he was a clown. But this parade didn't have clowns, it had an Oompah Loompa band and Ferris got up and sang and it wasn't even Idol audition week. He sang "Donkeyshane" which was really sung by Bruce Wayne Newton, which, coincidentally, is my favorite cookie (sorry, fruit and cake).
Then they twist and shout and show this group of black people dancing in unison like an episode of "Solid Gold." How racist is this movie? Black people do NOT dance to the Beatles, and they're not the only race that can dance in unison (ever see Riverdance?). Then they pan back to the parade and not a black person in sight. Why they'd go to the German American Parade is beyond me, although there was a black guy on "Hogan's Heroes"...
That son of a bitch Rooney knocks a dog out with a pot of flowers! Not that I'm a big fan of dogs, 'cause I'm a fluffy little bunny cat, but now he's an animal abusing teen-seeking pedophile who breaks and enters. Go back to Deadwood where you belong, you creepy bastard!
Cameron has a total meltdown when he realizes that an extra from "Desperado" has taken his sweet ride out for a drive without his permission. It's called karma, Cameron, deal with it.
By the way, Cameron is gay. Totally. If you had Sloane stroking your forehead and flauntin' her hoohas in a wet negligee by the pool, you'd snap out of it a lot quicker than he did.
Ooooh, Ex-Mr. Dr. Christmas Jones cameo!
So Cameron decides to prove he's not a pansy and kicks his dad's car and it goes flyin' off into the woods. It's called catharsis, but I'd rather see the sequel when Cameron's Dad gets home. He should get slapped just for being stupid enough to think that putting the car in reverse would take the miles off. Cameron says his Dad doesn't trust him and that he loves the car more than him, but didn't Cameron prove his Dad right by taking the car out in the first place? He totally brought everyone down with his self-pitying diatribe about paternal devotion.
So Ferris is, like, screw you guys, I'm goin' home! And he runs through people's yards and he shows that he really doesn't love Sloane 'cause he stops and flirts with these two chicks who are soooo vapid that they lay out tanning facing away from the sun! And this is right after he tells her that he loves her. The cool guy totally loses cool points right at the end of the movie, what the hell is up with that?
But he continuously breaks the fourth wall, so that more than makes up for it.
How did all those bouquets of flowers for Ferris get in the house if no one was home all day?
The world goes by pretty fast, if you don't slow down, you might miss it. But I'm a cat, and the world goes by really really fast, like seven times faster, so I better get to Wrigley Field quick!
Want some gummy bears? They've been in my pocket all day so they're nice and soft.
I'm totally kidding, cats don't have pockets.
Chicka Chicka!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by horrorfan247 on -
How did all those bouquets of flowers for Ferris get in the house if no one was home all day?
haha i have always wondered about that.....
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