What medieval movie makes you cringe?

[RadiationMan]

What medieval movie can you just not watch? Whether its bad acting, bad story or just a total lack of historical accuracy?

Braveheart was the movie that really got me interested in medieval history. But now, I can't stand to watch Braveheart anymore. I loved the movie until I started learning about the history surrounding the the time period.
Some of my beefs with the film:
1. William Wallace never wore a kilt. He was a lowlander that wore what the English were wearing at the time and what the Robert the Bruce character in the movie wore.
2. The "kilts" they wore in the movie weren't even kilts but more of a plaid miniskirt with a sash, not even enough fabric.
3. William Wallace and Robert the Bruce probably never met in real life.
4. Wallace did not have an affair with Queen Isabella. She was only about 13 years old when Wallace was killed.
5. The "armour" that the English were wearing at the time was not accurate at all. They looked more like some kind of fantasy pajamas with metal squares attached to it than what was actually used at the time.
6. The Battle of Sterling Bridge...happened on a bridge. No bridge was anywhere to be seen in Gibson's movie.
7. William Wallace never wore the blue woad paint on his face. That was something the Picts did hundreds of years earlier. It is about as silly as a main character in a modern movie about the war in Iraq, wearing a powdered wig into battle. It didn't happen.

Don't get me wrong, the movie is entertaining, but personally, I just can't stomach the blatant inaccuracies.

[~TO]

I just finished watching Beowulf (is that considered a period-piece even though real actors weren't used?). Although the special effects were fantastic and the story was very... "Hollywood", I was very disappointed that such liberties were taken in the film. Whomever wrote the orignal poem must be turning in his grave! Angelina Jolie as Grendel's mother... okay. Beowulf as the dragon's father? Come on!!

Enough of my ranting... :-)

[Bodhi Grrl!]

I like Lady Jane, an older film with Helena Bonham Carter and Cary Elwes, when he still thought of himself as "British."

[KRISTEN]

flesh & blood i cant watch the hole thing so ive never seen the ending

[RadiationMan]

I understand your point. I know that the bottom line is to sell tickets. I also agree Gibson's performance was fantastic. But why screw up history if it isn't going to make any difference to the story? I mean the armour that the English actually wore at that time period was way cooler than the piece of crap metal pajamas that they were wearing in the movie.

[Waisted Aire]

Braveheart is just far too inaccurate, but that movie doesn't make me "cringe" as much as Excaliber does.

[Sevorin]

But Excalibur is Arthurian legend. It's professedly grounded in myth, not history, so its "accuracy" is irrelevant. It might as well have been taken from Malory as from Geoffrey of Monmouth.

The folkloric sources of King Arthur are themselves mutually inconsistent. So there's really no use even crabbing that Excalibur is not faithful to the legend.

If something else about the movie makes you cringe -- like the impossibly anachronistic clothes and weaponry or the half-assed references to early Christianity -- you're still in the position of blaming a fantasy for not being historically accurate.